Posted in art, blog, blogging, dissociative identity disorder, Girl blogger, mental health, mental health awareness, Positivity, recovery, therapist, therapy, trauma, Wellbeing

Bitter therapy pills to swallow.

Just for fun, I thought I’d illustrate some of the bitter pills you have to swallow when you begin therapy.

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Posted in blogging, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, Girl blogger, health, mental health, mental health awareness, Positivity, repressed memories, therapist, therapy, trauma, traumatic memory, Wellbeing

A day of looking after myself.

I worked so hard in the past 24-36 hours or so to practice good self-care. I can’t say any of it totally helped with the horrendous flashbacks… Well the diazepam did eventually cos I’ve not had any in 15 hours.

But practicing good self care certainly didn’t hinder anything either and I feel proud that I did my best.

It was really tough today because my therapist never replied to my text and it was hard not to spin out from that. I felt angry and mistrustful but I also was able to understand that I hadn’t really asked for a reply because at the time (4am) I didnt feel I needed one so I told her I was okay.

But 3 hours later I found myself hoping she’d reply with something. But she didn’t reply and it was tough to sit with it.

Tonight when I got to session she apologised and said she’d read it but her day kicked off really quick and she didn’t get back to me.

I wasn’t in a place to talk about how I’d felt about it – I had bigger fish to fry. But I’m glad I didn’t let the anger and fear take over me because it would have stopped me getting the connection I needed tonight.

I’m proud of myself and how far I’ve come and how I am much more able to hold her goodness instead of seeing her as a threat and therefore someone I need to protect myself from and explode in protective anger at a missed text.

I hope my flashbacks are finished for now and that I can rest and recover.