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Happy feet

Too much joy from my unicorn socks this week!!

Managed an 18 hour fast. Sirena is a happy girl today.

Had a session yesterday which was fine but has left me with the most painful mourning/attachment pain.

I’ll write more about that later. But for today I’ve meditated and that helped quite a bit and I am trying to stay very present in the moment to help combat the attachment pains.

I feel so young and just want a cuddle… from Sienna. I had to stop myself texting to ask for an appointment for tonight.

I am trying to talk to the abandoned child and reassure her that everything is okay.

I have reminded her that Sienna is still there and we’ll see her Monday and that she loves and cares for us.

But I don’t even know if that’s true. Does Sienna love me?

I think so. But I feel a lot of doubt about the word love.

Anyway… I’m just trying to keep busy and stay present.

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16 thoughts on “Happy feet

    1. I just wish I was enough for her. That she could see that I’m trying to fill those needs for her. I don’t get a sense of her knowing that.
      I love the socks too. πŸ’œπŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™

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      1. It’s so hard, isn’t it? I know little Alice doesn’t want the grown up, she wants Bea. Bea keeps trying to explain that little Alice can have both of them, and that because everything is happening on the inside and the grownup can go inside where Bea can’t, the grown up can do the best job of comforting the little girl. The thing is, though, I’m not sure any of the parts believe her. πŸ€”πŸ˜•

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      2. Yeah my younger parts have zero connection to adult me. I know I need to be the primary care giver, but I don’t get any sense that they hear me or are aware of me. There’s just no connection there and I don’t know how to resolve that.

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      3. Bea says to just keep talking and validating their feelings, letting them know the adult is there. She says it’s just like how I would talk to Kat when she’s melting down and can’t use me to contain her feelings or to soothe. I just talk gently, letting Kat know I’m there and that I care and I’m not going anywhere. She says it will take time for the little girl to trust the adult is there.

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  1. Love the socks!!

    Who knows the right word for their feelings but whatever the right word is. It’s a type of love and it’s definitely caring and compassion and concern and fondness – all of which are pretty bloody good hey?! Xx

    Liked by 1 person

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