Lazy girl got on the mat.

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I did it. Finally got my fat ass on the yoga mat and did a total of 45 minutes of yoga. I am on day 11 of my healthy eating and yoga plan. So far I have done yoga 9 out of 11 days. And I’ve done 11 days of intermittant fasting. So I fast for 16 hours a day and have an 8 hour eating window. I have reduced my calories to around 1341 cals per day, to fat burn (hopefully.)

This is from being sedentary and totally fatigued from Lupus and Fibromyalgia. So I think it’s a good start. I have had 4 very rare weeks of really good health which has allowed me to keep doing yoga everyday. I am scared that my health will fail me and ruin all my good work but I also have a secret hope that maybe the yoga and healthy eating will improve my energy levels.

So when I noticed that my body was starting to feel tired and a bit sore and wasn’t sure if it was normal “been exercising” sore or Fibromyalgia sore and a sign I was doing too much for my body I decided to skip the two days.

I’ve got to admit my neck and shoulder do feel increasingly sore and I think I might need a massage. But I don’t know if psychologically I’m ready for that.

Today I also managed a 19.5 hour fast. Which is a new achieviement. Even though I aim for 16hours fasts, I’ve been alternating somewhere between 16.5 and 18 hours.

Am I enjoying the yoga? Yes. No. Kind of… I don’t enjoy having to do it every day and I don’t enjoy feeling sweaty or tired. But I do enjoy the buzz after I’ve done it and I like the stretching exercises.

Does anyone else who does light beginners yoga get really cold afterwards? I mean I could understand it if it was hardcore stuff where you’ve been dripping with sweat, but I’m just a beginner and I get a light sweat and afterwards I start getting super cold.

Anyway, not sure if I’ve lost much other than some water weight. I do feel better and my jeans feel looser. I threw my scales out because I didn’t like what they said, they were mean to me! So no idea what I’ve lost it anything.

But I really feel like if I have been healthy eating for 2 days or more, then I should see a 24lb weight loss, it’s only fair.

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19 thoughts on “Lazy girl got on the mat.

  1. Cd says:

    Well your strong willpower is encouraging. I *need* to start exercising. I’ve gained 60lbs in 15 months. Damn ed

    • Sirena says:

      Exercising is so difficult. It brings up a lot of feelings. It’s a psychological barrier more than anything else.

  2. dangerousvoyager says:

    When I did yoga I didn’t lose any weight but my body seemed to change shape, my neck especially got a bit skinnier, easier to breathe and snored less. Same with changing what I ate (due to combo of sister visiting who had food intolerances and massively cutting down on sugar after watching a screening of “That Sugar Film” at our yoga studio) not really much weight loss but change of shape and felt amazingly better mentally and physically.

    If you can persist with what you’re doing, especially if you can keep doing it until it becomes a habit rather than an unpleasant effort, I’m sure you’re going to see benefits yourself. Don’t push yourself too hard though, there’s a big risk of injuring yourself or aggravating the fibro (which I’m sure you know already but it never hurts to hear that from someone else). Even if you felt psychologically ok with massage to help with the pain/stiffness you need to be very cautious in the context of dissociating a lot – you can end up being injured more because you dissociate during the massage and aren’t able to tell the massage therapist if they’re using too much pressure (been there, done that, couldn’t even lie on the yoga mat for two days because I was so sore let alone do yoga).

    Awesome work at doing this!

    • Sirena says:

      I am seeing some benefits already. Small changes and funnily enough like you said it feels like the changes are mostly on my shoulder area and maybe the neck. I want tummy and hip changes though!! 😀
      To be honest, with the risk of injury, I’m unsure what or where my limits are. I’m not pushing myself into poses that are super uncomfortable and I’m not exercising until I’m exhausted but other than that, how do I know if I’m approaching a limit?
      I’ve heard a lot of people who go for massage particularly for back issues, say that they are sorer for a day or two after but then they feel great. You make a good point about dissociation, that’s maybe something I’ll need to remember.
      Thanks for your encouragement.

      • dangerousvoyager says:

        I never quite understood what other people said about massage, being “a bit sore”, because the few times I tried it in the past I felt like I’d been beaten allover with a stick and even though there were no bruises it was painful for days to the point of wanting to cry when I lay down on a hard surface. And that is with even the relatively low level of dissociation I experienced during the massages. It’s only now that I’ve been able to find someone who can work within my limits that I’ve actually felt good after the massage and have experienced that slight soreness during and after which I think is what other people meant and that seems to actually be beneficial in a way.

        As far as how to push with yoga, I guess it comes down to how quickly you bounce back in terms of fatigue and pain – if you are fine by the next yoga session that seems like an ok level, but if you are getting progressively more fatigued or getting localised pain which isn’t settling down then you probably need to ease up on what postures you’re doing and how long your sessions are.

      • Sirena says:

        Yeah. Maybe instead of every day I need to back up to every second day. It’s just my neck mostly that seems to be getting worse. That might not even be down to the yoga though?
        I like firm massages so I’d probably be happy with most massages. However I know that bruised feeling. My husband massages my muscles and sometimes I’m fine after and sometimes the next day I feel bruised… I’ve always put it down to the Fibromyalgia.

      • dangerousvoyager says:

        I’ve raised something similar about yoga with a friend who is a yoga teacher.
        Strength and flexibility vary enormously between different parts of the body/ different muscle groups, and between different people (e.g. I’m really flexible in extension of my back and neck but terrible in flexion and have really tight hips and I’ve been like this right from childhood, even though I did gymnastics). What can easily happen is that you do an asana which is within the limits (or just pushes them) for most of the muscles and ligaments involved, but pushes too far for some of them, and it’s hard to get past this unless you specifically target the problem areas to increase strength and flexibility so it matches the ‘ok’ areas.
        This usually involves using supported postures (with blocks, bolsters or straps) and/or an individualised routine. It’s the down side of doing yoga at home or in a very large class. Is there any possibility of your getting a few individual or small group classes to complement what you’re doing at home?

  3. La Quemada says:

    You inspire me. I want to make these changes in my life, too, but I am finding it extremely hard. I have a day or two of eating well and maybe riding a bike, and then I have several days of feeling so tired and eating half a bag of tortilla chips.

    • Sirena says:

      Yeah, I don’t have much hope that I’ll keep this up either to be honest. I do want to. I can only try. I think exercise can be hard for trauma survivors, especially if our go to defence is freeze.

  4. all the little parts says:

    I have the same. Def not alone. I stick at it for a while then I start scrutinising my body and looking for signs of change. It’s THEN I will get bad as I can hear the abusers torments in my head. It is really hard not to feel self conscious after that especially after big weight loss I have flaps of skin which give me a round of applause if I run about. I have to wear spanx when exercising! I feel better in the pool because I’m covered and nothing is jiggling about but getting in the pool is an issue too. Quagmire!!

      • all the little parts says:

        Yes, weight loss surgery. Lost 11 stone in 6 months (ish). I’m happy with my size now (12/14) but not with how my body looks under my clothes. It’s gross. My boobs after having 2 kids also look like balloons that been over inflated then let go several times!!

  5. gerihend1 says:

    Have you read David Emerson’s book https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Trauma-through-Yoga-Reclaiming/dp/1556439695 ? It explores the work of Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk. Also, this book: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=DFY2Y3P325NDDTEMCH81. Both books are well written, informative, and highly acclaimed. The massage issue comes and goes for me. Sometimes its ok–such as the period of time I lived in Okinawa and had a masseuse who was the epitome of respect, care, and help. Massage that is aggressive is worse for me, not better. The anticipation of the pressure and pain increases my tension.

    • Sirena says:

      I haven’t read the first book but I’ve read the second. Thanks for the recommendation. I think you’re right, the massage will depend on the right masseuse, having a connection with them will be important to me in order to feel safe.

  6. jimenobaeznarvaez says:

    If you can persist with what you’re doing, especially if you can keep doing it until it becomes a habit rather than an unpleasant effort, I’m sure you’re going to see benefits yourself.
    I’ve heard a lot of people who go for massage particularly for back issues, say that they are sorer for a day or two after but then they feel great.

  7. charlesdoliver says:

    I think exercise can be hard for trauma survivors, especially if our go to defence is freeze. My boobs after having 2 kids also look like balloons that been over inflated then let go several times!

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