So Sienna finally contacted me.
” Hi Sirena, Looks like I’ll need to print the article out for Monday. How are you? Sienna.”
I thought it was nice that she asked me how I was. But I still feel so angry. If she was having problems with the article attaching to an email.. then she could just have text me that yesterday. Instead I’ve spent the past 2 days really anxious.
I told her I hadn’t been doing well. She replied that I should keep grounding myself, this is the work and I’m doing really well.
That just pissed me off. I’m doing really well…. really? I don’t feel like i’m doing really well and I don’t need little pep talks. I don’t need vacuous cookie-cutter/hallmark responses which are bereft of any real meaning or feeling. By telling me I’m doing well, doesn’t make it so.
I sent back a pretty bitchy reply which she did not reply to. I asked her by whose/what standards am I doing well?
I don’t know what I need from her… nothing I guess. Not really. She hasn’t really done anything very wrong but I’m angry at her anyway. I’m angry that she can’t make me feel better. I’m angry that she hasn’t given me more of her time this week and I’ve felt so awful. I’m angry that I feel so desperate for her to do something to help me not feel so awful.
ugh… 😦 😦